Keeping the Gift Budget Under Control

Earlier today I read Sharon’s most recent post– just a regular update sort of thing. But this time, she mentioned two specific spend issues she has problems with that I directly related to.  So I’ve been thinking about them all day like I said I would in the comments and I do have some ideas but I wanted to scratch your brains as well. Only one problem per post because these suck up my brain power!

Problem One: Blowing the Gift Budget Every. Single. Time.

Ah, gifts. These are really tough for people with the deadly combination of loving to shop and loving to give. If you’re the type of person who absolutely loves to help someone else shop but fall apart when it’s time to spend on yourself you most likely have a struggle with keeping gifts under budget.

First things first– get a realistic grip on your gift spending. If it feels like the right amount when you spread it out across the year, it’s the right amount. If it feels way too high even when you spread it out across the year into monthly chunks, bring it down. Accept whatever the real amount needs to be.  The bottom line is if every year you look and you’ve spent $1200 on gifts, you need to set aside $100 for gifts period, end of story. No occasions to celebrate in July? Don’t delude yourself into thinking you can use the gift money for something else because you will be pressed in August when you have four birthdays to deal with. If deep down you know the number is too high because you’re just being extravagant to be extravagant, you’ve got to wrestle that demon and whittle it down to a reasonable number. If it’s because your circumstances just don’t allow you to spend as much as you want, you’ve got to accept that too.

Now that you’ve wrestled with the real and true and livable gift budget, I think it’s time we all truly embrace the one solution that just makes sense– the gift closet.

Oh, the groans! I can hear them, you know. But seriously, the gift closet makes sense (and cents, ha). I think it really is time to put this concept to the test. How many times have I gone into the store not looking for anything in particular, finding the perfect thing for so and so, not buying it because there’s no occasion coming up to give it to them and I can’t be giving things just because, to then not find a damn thing when it IS time to give them something?

There are certain things in life that are highly probable at least once a year. This is my list:

• Your loved ones will have a birthday
• You will celebrate Valentine’s Day one way or another
• You may celebrate Easter one way or another
• You will have at least one person deserving of a Mother’s Day gift
• You will have at least one person deserving of a Father’s Day gift
• You will celebrate some sort of holiday in December
• Someone will have a baby
• If you have children, there will be birthday parties
• There will be an occasion you really wish you had a hostess gift for
• There will be an occasion you really wish you had a thank you gift for
• There will be an occasion you really wish you had a congratulations gift for

The thing is, these somewhat predictable events will always come around when you have the least money available for them. Not only that, but the stores will instantly hide all of their good stuff too. So clearly, the only real solution I can see is year-round shopping. You can make this as haphazard as you want or as neat and organized as you want. My idea for myself is to maintain some sort of list I can access with my phone so I can check really quick if I’ve already got Mutant Wino’s gifts covered for the year or if something’s missing because I just found the most perfect thing for him at the most perfect price. And even if he is covered for the year, I might get it anyways because there’s next year. As long as the gift closet doesn’t turn into some out of control clutter beast, I really do think this is the answer for us gift-budget-busting gals. The trick is to not put it off. You find something, it fits the budget, it fits the closet, do it. Make it a point to go gift shopping once a month so you’re not tempted to paint yourself into a corner two months from now.

There are some gifts that are classics. There are gorgeous baby items in neutral colors deeply discounted. You can find some great deals on great gift basket shelf-stable items like wines and gourmet foods (check the expiration date before buying). Keep an eye on the clearance section of department stores for discounts on classic home gifts like frames, vases, candles, and so on. Check the kids’ department for discounted books. Toys R Us constantly marks down toys too– maybe avoid the more trendy pieces and stick to classic characters and games.

Even those of us who make things can benefit greatly from a gift closet. How many of us have those gaps in the calendar when no one’s celebrating anything and suddenly it’s everyone’s birthday and right after that is Christmas? Make a gift every month for the closet. If a pattern catches your eye, go for it and add it to the gift closet. You can even turn this into one of those annual challenges!

What do you think? Any strategies or tips for keeping the cost of giving gifts down that don’t include the classic, “Instead of buying a gift, give the gift of time”? Share!

Weekend Summary

Eldest decoding a clue

Eldest loved his treasure hunt. He had eight clues and he had a great time figuring them out and then running to find the next one. It was really cool. We had flan instead of cake because it’s his favorite and my mom makes it deliciously.

Found one!

Friday ended up being a No-Spend Day for me which was nice. Saturday was the party day. I do the parties late in the afternoon because it gives me plenty of time to get things ready. Early in the day parties don’t work for me.

Another one!

Unfortunately for me, I woke up on Saturday feeling like total crap again. I was completely congested and miserable. My mom came over and got to work on cleaning with her super amazing cleaning abilities. I attacked my congestion with every treatment I could. I did the sinus rinse. I did the inhalations with a scoop of Baby Vicks (which had the unintended effect of making my house smell quite lovely actually). I took the Sudafed. I took the Nasonex. I took the steroid. I took the antibiotic. I took the Advil. Party time came and I was as ready as I could’ve hoped to be. I decorated the cake. I’d done the goody bags. I prepped the snacks. Guests arrived.

Gratuitous Kitten Cuddles

The party was chaotic but I guess that’s what happens when you jam a bunch of 7 year old boys together. They mostly played with the Beyblades and anything else they could lay their hands on in the play room. Finally when I was getting tired of all of the screaming and stuff, I checked the time and saw it was almost 5:30. YES! Reptile people should be here any minute.

Daughter's photo of the cat in the bag

Except they never came. We called over and over and over again. Nothing. No shows. I was sad. And I was relieved I hadn’t told Eldest what I’d planned but I was still sad. Really sad. But we did the cake and gave the goodies and collapsed.

Made by my mom, decorated by me

At least that made Saturday another No Spend Day for me. Yay I guess. And it also meant I now have freed up $250 I’d been reserving. But still. Major letdown.

I'm gonna eat you!

Sunday we were useless. Even the kids. We watched movies and played with the cat. Actually, we did have a productive morning and picked 69 avocados from my tree. There are at least another hundred up there. I think I might sell off a bunch of them. At a dollar each, I could make another $50 bucks and have plenty to eat and giveaway. And that’s just from this harvest. There are plenty more that need to keep ripening. We wrapped up the day at my cousin’s house for his going away dinner. He’s heading to college this weekend.

Bonding with the cousin

So Sunday was another No-Spend. Three in a row. Who would’ve thought it possible?

And then yesterday I couldn’t keep food down. And today, I’m fighting to keep down toast and Gatorade. I think I’m going home soon. Someone tell me something lovely is heading my way please.

Return of the Mutant

I am back from my vacation. I did so many things and also not did many other things. I had a wonderful time. I could sit and beat myself up about the not-dids but no way dude. That is definitely a huge perk to single motherhood– there is absolutely no one moaning and groaning about your not-dids on your time off, nor are you expected to take on any more than you already do.

I went to the Wynwood Art Walk. It was excellent. I think I can even go again in July. If I can, I will. There are so many tiny little galleries and the art is all over the place. Plus some even gave free alcohol. Next time, I’m determined to get there right when it starts because I really didn’t like it when it started getting packed.

On the 13th, Daughter turned 5. That morning I called her on the way to Summer Camp and asked her what kind of cake she wanted. “Hello Kitty” I did it. What a mission but I did it.

On Wednesday, Friend and I drove up north to get his daughter. It was a five and a half hour trip up and I got us back in another five. I was thrilled to get back home but it’s totally worth the drive. Seeing these two together is awesome.

On Friday, I went and got my long-awaited haircut. Oh how I pined for this day. Oh, how fantastic it was. I love my “summer hair” as my awesome stylist called it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tolerate long hair again and I honestly don’t know how I feel about that.

On Saturday, my family went down to the Florida Keys for a Father’s Day dinner. The restaurant, Morada Bay, is famous for its view and sunsets. The food is really yummy too and they make awesome (alcoholic) drinks you get in a 32 oz jar. Towards the evening, they throw glow sticks in them.

Friend picked me up and we spent the night and the next day with his daughter’s (she totally needs a name) Grandparents who live in the Keys. We ended up going out in their boat and I got the first sunburn I’ve had in ages. But, it was completely awesome. I haven’t been on a boat in years and missed it terribly. It felt so good to be back out on the ocean again.We docked at the sandbar outside of the famous Holiday Isle and she got a boat-driving lesson on the trip back. No, I’m not in these pictures. The girl is his beautiful, wonderful daughter.

And then, in between all of these wonderful moments, was a lot of other stuff.

I read How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe (brainy humor and a bit odd but if you can handle it, it’s totally worth it) and Sarah’s Key (which made me sob and sob until my head ached).

My dad surprised me and came to my house to do the hall closet. He bought me the shelves, the mounts, the brackets and installed everything while I built the playhouse my family and I teamed together to buy Daughter for her birthday. Through the week, I put things back into it. It looks amazing. I’ll have to take pictures so you can see it. Such a difference.

I did a bit of shopping for the kids (shoes!). I also did a bit of shopping with the kids as Eldest and Daughter wanted a chance to spend some of the money they’ve been saving and we had a rare opportunity to go while Baby hung out with my parents.

Very interesting opportunity to see how their brains worked. It was a great thing to do with Eldest but more complicated with Daughter. She wanted all of the big, expensive things and only had $10. She kept getting discouraged and honestly, I was too.

Despite the frustration and lack of options, she managed to score a Teresa Barbie doll and a Ken doll and then proceeded to spend the rest of the time in the store smashing the boxes together and making kissy noises (much to the amusement of observant Target shoppers). She said it was me and Daddy. “That’s not me and Daddy! I don’t kiss Daddy like that,” I said. “Oh well,” she said, “You were married, so too bad!” “But we’re not married anymore,” I said. “Who kisses Daddy like that now?” I asked. She didn’t skip a beat and answered with the girlfriend’s name. “Exactly,” I said, cheerful as can be because I am super happy it’s not me he’s planting those fake kisses on anymore but also because I want them to know it really is ok he’s got a girlfriend and is affectionate with her and that they like her. So instead of shying away from the opportunity, I figured I’d embrace it. I don’t want any subject to be taboo between my kids and me.

My kids started summer camp. They love it. I love it. I know some parents hate summer but, with this camp, I really love it. My kids have a great time. The pressure is off in the mornings even though I have to take the three of them, and to two separate locations. They eat like crazy. They play like crazy. I get way more relaxed with bedtimes and meals and life in general. It helps my parents both work at schools and are also off. My Friend having his daughter also adds an element of special to the whole thing.

Getting back to non-vacation life has been ok. Sometimes it’s been smoother than others. Somethings have been easier than others. It did make me wish I was a stay at home mom again. I think I’d be much better at it now– whether or not this is because of the ages of my children or the lessons I have learned, I’m not really sure. But yes, it’d be nice and it did give me a little fuel for the Financial Independence fire. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure something part-time would be just the ticket. But that’s for my “One day” file…

Ex surprised me big time on Friday and dropped off a very decent amount of money. He also went ahead and paid two extra fees that came up at the daycare.

I need to find a way to balance gratitude and trust when it comes to him. I have a tendency of combining the two and it blows up in my face. In other words, he will do something that I am grateful for and I automatically feel it is proof that I really can trust him and then he abuses the trust. So yes, I am grateful but no, I don’t trust you and honestly I probably never will. I’m understanding this is a game he plays and plays well and I am sure there are others guilty of the same tactic. One good deed is quickly followed by many not good ones.

With that unexpected cash flow, the money thing has mostly turned out ok. My checkbook isn’t really balancing perfectly but I know how much I actually have and how much I should have left over at the end of the month and that’s the important part.

Because I don’t have internet at home, or even a functional computer, the expense tracking got a bit lazy. It didn’t start that way, but it ended up there. Honestly, it wasn’t a horrible thing and it gave me something else to think about and somehow aim for in the future. I’m gaining a lot of confidence in my financial future. Barring any major unforeseen disasters, I really do believe my financial outlook will be supremely improved in just a couple of years. I need to be ok with that. Two years is really just not a lot of time.

By the way, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take the GRE in September. I know the test is changing in August but they’re giving a 50% discount if you take the new test in the first two months so I’m going to try it out. I work at a university. They pay for graduate programs (I have to pay the taxes). I don’t see why I shouldn’t at least try a couple classes and get my feet wet. I like school. I found a degree that is very appealing to me. And I don’t have to go insane taking a million classes. I feel no immediate pressure to change my career but it’d be nice to widen the net of future opportunities especially if I can do it for practically free.

It was nice. It really was just very nice. I would love to try and repeat this somehow next year. What about you? What have you been up to this week and tell me– did you miss me?!