Hey folks! As most of you Regulars know, the annual conference I coordinate is upon us. This means this will be the last post you see from me for about a week. You know what? This could not be better timed.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it right now because, well I’m all out of sugar and don’t have a dime to buy anymore! I’m beyond stressed out. I feel like I’m underwater and every time I come up for air, I can only get a quick gulp in before being pulled under again. And I’ve been feeling like this for months now. I’m trying really hard to stay positive. I’m trying really hard to keep focusing on good things. But it’s really, really, really hard to do even that. When all your energy is put into not drowning there isn’t much left for things like positive thinking.
I check into the hotel tomorrow and check out on Sunday. My younger kids are starting to get anxious and sad about going to their dad’s house for the week. We are going to watch Hocus Pocus tonight and maybe I’ll come up with some sort of Halloween craft we can do together to make up for the fact this is the first Halloween they won’t get to be with Mom. I’m trying to get them excited. I’m reminding them that their friend is going to go with them and that it’ll be lots of fun. But they don’t care. I’m trying to see if their dad will bring them to the hotel Saturday for a few hours but he gave a really non-committal “Sounds good” reply to the really long email I sent him about all the stuff he needs this week.
Yes that is the extent he communicates with me most times. I’ll write something with lots of info and some questions and I get, “Sounds good”. Co-Parenting with this man is flat out impossible.
Whatever, this isn’t going to turn into that kind of post. It’s just not.
I’m driving the new car which is bittersweet. My dad bought himself something new last night. At least once I get on-site tomorrow, I won’t have to spend a penny until check-out Sunday. Which is great because there isn’t anything to spend…
I totally ranted right now but deleted it.
I’m going to pack workout clothes in my suitcase. I’m going to work out at the hotel this week. Maybe in their gym, more likely on the beach. Just run and run and run. Maybe puke and run some more. I need to get this emotional cancer out of me, I really do. Money stress. There is nothing worse than money stress. It kills people, it kills relationships, it just destroys everything in its path. And it’s all over me.
I’m hoping this week of disconnecting from everything helps me reset. I need a fresh look at things.
For those of you up North, stay safe. Category 1 storms aren’t a big deal even if they’re all wet and stuff. So I’m hoping everyone’s freaked out about this storm more than necessary and that all the lights will be back on Wednesday and the roads dry. Our weather has been stunning and cool and windy.
Hope your weekend is a good one! I’ll miss you 🙂