Today, I’m going home with my kids. We’re going to bake cookies, have some dinner of some sort, and watch a movie. Then I’m taking them to my mom’s house because they have no school tomorrow. They’ll stay with her until my mother in law picks them up in the afternoon and they will be staying with their dad for a week.
This means Thursday will be my first Thanksgiving without kids since 2003.
To be honest, I am a bit up in the air about this. I think mostly it has to do with the fact I don’t really feel like it’s real yet. If you thought breaking up with someone is a long and tedious thing to get over, separating a family has been that times a hundred.
I keep trying to focus on the more positive things. My brother, uncle, and cousin are major wine guys and always bring lots of great bottles to these types of things. This year, I’ll actually get to enjoy that. I’ll also get to enjoy chatting up the relatives here, there, everywhere without being interrupted by crying, screaming, or generally “MOMMY”ness. If I end up getting the urge to cook, I’ll be able to satisfy it at my house in peace and listening to my favorite tunes.
I tell myself all of the objective things– it’s just dinner with the family. It’s just another day on the calendar. They need to be with their Dad for special moments too. It’s just dinner. On a Thursday. The fourth one in November.
I try to shut the negative things out. I try not to dwell on the fact this is most probably my grandfather’s last Thanksgiving with us. I force myself to forget you’re supposed to be surrounded your family on this day. I try and forget that my children are the three single things I am more grateful for than anything you can possibly imagine.
Back to positives? I’m trying. It’s not easy. That’s why this Thursday is gonna be a weird one.