Musings

Last night I stayed up late and finally went up when Baby started calling at around 2:30. As soon as I got into the bed to nurse him I was exhausted and he wasn't. Thankfully he wasn't impossible just restless. Either way, I was awake soothing him in the bed for a few hours. And then I found myself ripped from a nice sleep by Daughter pitching a hell of a fit. Somehow in that very cloudy haze of between sleep and awake, I figured out she was pitching the fit because J had woken her and was attempting to get her out of pajamas to go to daycare. My brain somehow rationalized that J would not be able to soothe the savage beast and that divine motherly intervention was needed immediately so that I could return to sleep. The brain resorts to desperate measures for instant gratification when sleep deprived. "DEJALA!" I yelled. This is Spanish for "leave her". The fact that I was yelling in Spanish was Clue One I was half out of my mind. Clue Two was the fact that I was yelling for J to leave her in my care instead of take her to preschool. I think my brain rationalized that surely if she got into my bed and off the changing table she would quit her fit AND if she quit her fit I would be able to go back to sleep. I think I then clarified my demand when J protested by half yelling something along the lines of "It's FINE just LEAVE her!" The funny thing was that it worked. She was put into my bed, we got our kisses goodbye from J who hauled ass out of there and silence settled. Now because I have a strict Never Look at Clocks When Sleep Deprived Policy, I don't know how long this lasted but I'm pretty sure it may have been about 30 to 45 minutes. I think she may have dozed off. 

And just as suddenly, she was awake. I think I tried using the TV as a way to more sleep time but she wasn't having it. She tried squirming out of bed and pitched a huge fit when I hauled her back in. I gave up on the whole sleep thing when she started aiming her Fit-Induced Kicks at Baby and managed to place one on his (thankfully) well-diapered butt despite my flailing protesting arms. And so I have been up since early this morning and have been just running around the house doing things. I did the dining room floors today but intensively which means moving furniture and toys around. I also yanked the curtains off the rod with the intention of washing them later because I saw some stain along the bottom of them. I cleaned and cleaned and picked up and threw away. I folded laundry and even put some away. I ran the dishwasher. I vacuumed. I mopped. And I promise that if you came over, you wouldn't believe any of it because this mess never ends. 

To add insult to injury,  (I think Daughter just fell out of her bed OR knocked a toy out to the floor… no crying = toy?) we convinced my sister in law to play with the Wii Fit only to find the disc is missing. Again. Last time, I had to order a replacement from Nintendo and to this day it has not resurfaced. Now this one is gone again with no explanation, just the empty replacement disc sleeve in the games drawer next to all of the other Wii games that apparently are too good to go missing. But MY game, my favorite awesome must-have game is gone– again. I haven't reordered it and I doubt I will. At least not any time soon. It is just insanely frustrating to me. Yesterday I slaved in the living room, tired of the endless clutter and mess. I took everything out and dusted. I took all of the Kids' DVDs from their cases and put the discs in a binder and the cases in the trash. I sorted through 3 disc binders and 2 spindles of random discs and threw away a pile. I alphabetized the kids movies and the Grown Up movies. I rearranged the photo albums and the coffee table books and the collection of vinyl toys that once seemed overwhelming and disastrous but now seems fun and chic and surprising. So the entertainment center and the bookcase next to it look gorgeous except you won't even notice that if you came to my house because you can't get past the rest of the disaster. You have to shove aside papers, diaper bags, clothes, etc to have a seat on the couch. Searching for the Wii Fit disc, I unearthed a ton of toys (children and dog) that are sitting on the red shag rug that never seems to STAY STILL. The Little Mermaid ride-on I had put away in the dining room area (because the garage is not yet ready to be a playroom) is by the front door. The console table is covered in crap. The hall to the guest bathroom should be navigated like a mine field. Daughter pulled a bucket of her clothes down the stairs and left them on the steps as she hid there instead of sleeping in her bed. Mess. Everywhere. 

Kitchen Counter? Clutter.
Bar top? Clutter. 
Dining Table? Clutter.
Bar Stools? Clutter.

I'm going to go and take my anger out on a fresh load of laundry. I have a giant empty box from my last Diapers.com shipment. I am thinking of dragging it out of the garage and into the (cluttered) living room and proceed to fill it. I realize one very important thing and that is this: If I stand any chance at all at getting things under control in just the first floor of the house, I need to get the garage converted, end of story. To get the garage converted, I need to empty it out as best as I can. It's time to be ruthless. 

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