Wasted Day

Last night at my father in law's I got really empty out my stomach completely and then some sick. It was awful. This morning I wasn't completely recovered and spent most of the day sleeping it off and then I did some cleaning up in my kids' room. I also watched time drift away as I played on Facebook. 

Why is it I always want to do a million things and get right around to doing none of it? I left a load of laundry in the washer for TWO day because I was just on another planet I guess. It took THREE washes to get the stink out. I want so badly to step up my game around here and have a nicer looking house but I just can't get up the energy for it. The thing is, my husband rocks and I can't understand how he rocks so hard and I want to do these things for him. He is like freaking Superman around here. Cooks dinners, gives the kids baths, dresses my daughter for daycare every day, loads and empties the dishwasher. I just feel so damn lowly in comparison. 

And also, why do I have a problem reaching out? I was horribly messed up today and wanted nothing more than my mom to come over and yet when I got her on the phone, I couldn't get it out. She did end up bringing us dinner and gatorade in the evening. I'm totally lame. And I hate that my closest friends are all childless and working. Why can't they be home for me to badger? 

Yesterday when I was ill, I climbed into bed at around nine with Baby to nurse him. All in all, I was finally able to get him to sleep in his bassinnette at around 1 in the afternoon today. So from nine last night to 1 this afternoon I had a little baby attached to me. Some times, that's sweet. Other times, well not so much. Oh and he's lying right next to me on the couch. I scooped him up from the bassinette for the evening at 11:45. I need to put him down to shower but I think my husband might kill me when Baby wakes up crying for boob. 

I want more Gatorade. I can't decide on the shower thing. Do I wait or do I go? *sigh* 

Oh and one more ridiculous tangent. This is a Public Service Announcement. Breastfeeding is NOT easy. Those pictures where everything is peaceful looking and such, notice how huge the babies are. They're  nursing pros. The first few months are crazy and involve milk spraying everywhere and smelly babies and all kinds of craziness. I blame this on some forums I saw while I was looking up information on breastfeeding and going back to work. So many moms shocked at how hard it is to do. if it was super easy, there wouldn't be any formula! *grumble*

I think I'm coming off as slightly whiny tonight.


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