Holy cow I've neglected this place! Eeps!
Time is seriously whooshing past And I'm in serious denial. Think about this: I am due to have the third baby June 4. That is in less than three months. The doctors swear up and down there's no way in hell I'm making it to my due date so I'm hoping that really means I'll only be a couple of days late instead of a week or so like with Eldest and Daughter. Either way, Daughter's second birthday is going to have to be celebrated a couple of months late. I'm making it up by putting her party together with Eldest in August and I think I'm going to do it at the Little Farm in the Redlands. She really loves animals and so does Eldest and I think it's something different. I'm nervous about the weather but I'll take a chance.
Work has been good. I think it's been calming down a lot as I've gotten bigger. Maybe people take pity on me or something? I got a little frantic a couple of weeks ago when we went VOIP and we're still ironing out little bugs here and there and I'm having to slowly but surely wean people off coming to me for an answer instead of our Telecom Support department.
Kids have been awesome. It's crazy how your heart swells up to bursting about a million times a day and I'm not even home with them all day long. Daughter's first full sentence was on March 6, 2008. It was "I want Daddy" and she said it twice while I was rocking her before bedtime and he'd left the room. He of course did not believe me but the next day it was "I want [insert word here]". Her favorite thing to say is "I want cookie". Eldest is such a seriously cool kid. He's smart as hell and laid back. He has food issues that are really frustrating some times. I'm wondering how he's feeling about the baby. I don't think he knows himself. He gets really excited some times, especially because he wants it to be a boy real real real bad and he's convinced it's a boy. And then other times, like just the other day, he'll burst into a tantrum and shout "I don't want another baby! It's too much work!" Which shatters my poor heart into trillions of pieces. I know we rely on him so much and it's really easy to forget that he's not even five yet. He says "supercalifragilisticespialidocious" and uses "extraordinarily" in sentences properly and it's just HARD to forget he's so young. I see the kids in his class and it hits me like a freight train. He's a baby still. And we are tough on him. Push him and expect so much. Too much? We try and take deep breaths and just remember he's so little. Some things should be ok to slide.
I love hate the stupid fucking dog. He's really good with the kids despite the fact he growled and nipped at Eldest this weekend (he was trying to get to plate of food Daughter left on the end table and Eldest said "Down!" he turned and growled and nipped him). Eldest's room has been reeking of piss but I thought it was from the accident he had in bed the other night. I was in his room and saw a tiny puddle by the giant toy box. I cleaned and cleaned but it still stunk. I shoved the toybox to the side to make sure I'd gotten all of it and found a huge pudddle of piss. So bad it actually ruined our floor (the laminate has completely bubbled up around the seams). Every time I moved the toy box piss smeared more and more. It was horrible. All I wanted to do was come home early (had the day off to take Eldest to a field trip), put us both down for a nap, and enjoy the day. Now I'm mopping up piss a dog I'm still mad at has apparently been depositing every time he went to Eldest's room. I got as much as possible mopped up (toy box too heavy for me to really get under and clean), opened a window, put Eldest into bed, and came out, tripped over the bucket and spilled the enitre bucket of clorox and hot water all over the hallway. I think that's when I started crying. Got everything mopped up. Took a nap. When I woke up a couple of hours later, I'd missed a call from Daughter's daycare. She was running a fever.
So that was my day off today. Nutty right?
By the way, I know I used to vent a lot about money. The money situation has been better a bit. Things at J's job got scary.as.hell. for a little bit but it seems to have settled yet again. His job search totally confirmed he just won't make close to what he makes now if he leaves. The sales manager resigned and they're letting J hire a new sales guy to see if he deserves the position (neither of the previous sales managers have been successful in hiring and training new reps so the owner is skeptical of putting anyone into that position). We got an excellent refund from taxes. And J has been handling paying the majority of the bills. I pay all of my stuff. I stay on top of my stuff and it's been great. I know he had some real big problems getting a handle on things and I don't think he's totally got it just yet but I trust him. And of course ignorance is bliss. I HATE saying that but it's true. The thing is, it's been a huge relief. I was actually able to buy clothes for myself and the kids and J. It's been months since I've been able to do something like that. It's sad but true. We also bought all of the organization furniture for the kids' new room– Trofast stuff from Ikea. I saw an ad for bunk beds that we're going to try to buy this weekend. They're really pretty, separate into twin beds, and they're $179. I upgraded my phone with T-Mobile since they let you pay in installments and they had a good deal for me. I got the Sidekick Slide and it's been excellent. The e-mail has been awesome. I also found an excellent excellent excellent website for debt relief and credit help. It's all free advice on how to manage things. So I've been reading it and I've started taking steps to make sure my credit is as good as I can get it which I think is actually not bad at all if I stick to my plan. So far, so good. J found a lot of the settlement info good too and he's using it to work out his Amex. I am recommending it to everyone since it gives excellent advice on all issues credit and debt related. Here's the link. I hope you find it as helpful as I did.
Ok it's really late. I need to get to bed and get some sleep. See ya!