Yesterday was a really weird day for me. Yesterday was the big ultrasound. And my husband and I went and everything was going really well. Baby looked so beautiful and perfect. Everything checked out really well. We had decided that I wouldn't know what it was but J would. And that's when the weirdness started happening.
As I lay there looking at the wall while J took a peek at parts finding out if Eldest and Daughter were getting a brother or a sister, I started to get really, really depressed. And I mean in a big bad way. All of a sudden, things became TOO real. The reality of the situation a third child brought slammed into me and I didn't like it one bit. By the time the tech was done showing J, I just wanted to wrap it up and get out of there. It was all, and still is, way too much for me.
I let J in on what I was feeling and he ordered me to go home and relax with Eldest and to meet him at his dad's that night. That was all. He was shocked as hell I think.
What the hell, man? Why in god's name can't I be a normal freaking person?