Howdy

Wow it's gotten dusty over here huh? Let met start really by saying I am home sick. That is two days in two weeks and I am very upset about it but seriously I can't go into work like this. Last week it was the stomach virus from hell and now this week I have a horrible cold that has ruined my voice and is making me leak neon green muck from my nose.

Let me tell you, I am seriously overwhelmed by how completely my life has changed and yet hasn't changed. The biggest change of course is the amount of time to myself which comes to about nothing. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and leave for work by 6:20 – 6:30. I start at 7:30 and am there until 4. I only get half an hour for lunch so most times I just sit at my desk and eat. At 4 I get in the car and drive to daycare to pick up the kids and so I usually get home at around 5:30 – 5:45ish. J doesn't get home until almost 7. Then it's a mad rush to eat dinner and get the kids bathed and in bed by about 8. Then I start doing things around the house that need to get done like paying bills and cleaning up and laundry. Some times I try and watch a little TV or if I don't feel like doing anything, I'll read. Then I hit the sack anywhere from 9:30 – 10:30. And it all starts over again. My nights off have pretty much evaporated into nothing special because I have to wait for J to come home and by the time he's home, I'm tired and realize everything closes in a couple of hours and I have to be in bed in a few hours anyways so what's the point?

Now the thing that has me absolutely jagged is money. I went back to work because the bottom line was we couldn't afford living here anymore. The problem is I took way too long to get back to work. We dug ourselves a very very very deep hole and are struggling to get out of it. So the thing is here I am working my ass off, not having ANY time to myself whatsoever, and yet we are still feeling as choked financially as we were before I was working- maybe we're even worse off because now we're trying to catch up and bill collectors are calling and we're on a STRICT budget. And yet even with me working and even with our money going into absolutely nothing but absolute essentials, we're still not going to be caught up for at least another month. The good thing is we haven't overdrafted our account since April 25 which is really significant because we were constantly overdrawn and Washington Mutual uses and abuses that with $32 fees per transaction. There were too many times where what we paid in overdraft fees was embarrassing. So it's good we haven't done that but according to our budget we're going to have to overdraft at some point soon.

Anyways, I'm thinking a dose of theraflu would be good right now. I'd also like to keep working on those fingerless gloves I've been knitting for a month now with Yarn Pirate yarn. I made such a mess of that yarn because I didn't bother winding it into anything so it's a nest right now. Makes me cringe. I have to watch Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. That's my new thing btw. I surf Dish Network's movie channels and set things to record I've wanted to see but I don't rent. I started watching it last night but there was a storm when it was recording so half an hour of the movie disappeared. Blasted. So I watched Everything is Illuminated instead. Sad beautiful movie. I watched the Pursuit of Happyness over the weekend. Loved it. I'm losing weight lately. I have no idea how much I weigh but it hasn't been in a healthy way. The stomach virus last week seriously kicked my butt and now with this cold I have little appetite. I see myself in the mirror today and I look… gaunt. *sigh* I need a fairy godmother.

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