Here is just a sort of update on things on this end because I feel it's silly to kind of vent but not explain plus it's worth documenting such things for one day right?
I'm not even sure what I've shared here and what I haven't so excuse me if I repeat certain things.
Ok so it was decided that we cannot afford to live in our house anymore. The cost of living continues to soar and it's gotten to the point that no one wants to be in. Let's leave it there. So I have to go back to work. The catch is because I have no family to watch my children for me free of charge or ridiculously inexpensively, I have to pay for daycare. And because I already make SOME sort of money with my part time job, I need to find a job that pays a very specific amount so that I can cover the cost of daycare and also bring in more money than I am doing now. I have had no such luck until recently when I applied to a job through a staffing firm. It was actually the second staffing firm I went to and they have been very very very good. A little too good apparently because as the reality of my going to work at a real job and not staying with my children anymore looms closer, I am feeling extremely… overwhelmed. I'm having a very difficult time coping.
In addition to all of this chaos, we have also decided that owning a home is simply not for us, not right now. So when we sell our house we will not be purchasing a new one. Instead, we will be going back to renting. Hopefully this time, we will be able to rent a house instead of a condo or even a townhouse. And we are also hoping to find something more centrally located because this job thing is just getting very tricky coming out of Homestead.
I have an interview today with for an incredible opportunity, in Aventura. Mapquest clocks that as being a one hour commute each way from my house– most likely in no traffic. The pay however and the opportunity is so good, that I may just have to suck it up and deal with it until we sell this house and move to another. I think at this point, we're just looking to sell the house for what we owe the bank.
Mostly I feel pretty twisted over Daughter and the fact that while I was able to be home with her brother for 3 and a half years, she hasn't even turned one and I have to start looking to put her in childcare. And not even family because it's not available for her like it was for me. I'm heartbroken. I feel like a sort of traitor. And the thing is, at first I went into this thinking we'll just find me something silly and I'll do it for a year and we'll sell the house and move to San Antonio and I'll stay at home with her again. But remember how I mentioned how good the staffing firm is? Well, they're not finding me jobs, they're finding me careers. And so San Antonio has pretty much dwindled to a pipe dream. And with it, the idea of ever being able to stay home with Daughter once I start working.
So all of this has me really conflicted. On the one hand, I am devastated about not staying at home with my baby. On the other hand, I realize that by getting one of these really good career opportunities, I can give them lots of other things like the chance to stay in Miami which may not be a great city by any stretch of the imagination, but their grandparents are here and their uncles and cousins and great grandparents. And if I do get my career going I can do some serious contributing around here. The job I am interviewing for today pays two and a half times what I made last year. I can afford to put them in good schools which my mother is helping me do as she teaches at one of them. And eventually when things are really going well, we can buy a house in a normal part of Miami.
And there you have it. My interview is in about 3.5 hours. Wish me luck– for things in general really. And now for something fun…
|You Are 30% Left Brained, 70% Right Brained|
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.
The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.