I am in such a strange mood. Half of me is happy and calm and stuff like that and the other half is frustrated and annoyed and stuff like that. Today was an outing day. Outing days are big deals around here which is completely lame. But it seriously takes a lot of effort for me to go out somewhere and be excited about it and such. Most of me just wants to stay home in pajamas. I had lunch with my boss today at Cheesecake Factory. And after I took Eldest and Daughter to the library. It was Eldest's first visit there. Crazy, huh? I'm lame like that. There are all these moms out there who do cool things with their kids. I… don't. I'm trying though. Reconsidering. Figuring it out. Especially because almost overnight it seems Eldest has completely become interested in learning. It really didn't happen overnight when I look back but it felt like it because I was just not paying attention. Eldest was a huge asker of questions and most of the time they were simply to ask. As if he were practicing the art of questioning. But lately the questions have been good ones. He's asked me about his heart and brain. He has suddenly shown interest in the Fridge Phonics toy from Leapfrog but not in a "this thing plays songs really loud" way, it's more of a "i know this letter" kinda thing. He wants to write things. My mom gave me a bunch of her early childhood education resources from her days as a kindergarten teacher. That got things going. I then ordered The Little Hands Art Book/Exploring Arts & Crafts With 2-To 6-Year-Olds and I found that really cute and fun and interesting but haven't done ANYTHING with it. And most recently I ordered The Complete Daily Curriculum for Early Childhood: Over 1200 Easy Activities to Support Multiple Intelligences and Learning Styles which is really neat.

Here's the thing. I am not a schedule girl. That is, I hate designing one, I hate implementing one, and I hate getting used to one. However, like every single person on the planet, it does wonders for me even though I am loathe to admit it. It's true! Even if you think you're anti-schedule and you look at your life chances are you get more accomplished the days you have something scheduled even if it's just one little scheduled thing. So I am trying to figure out a schedule for here because it's just needed. Nothing gets done when things are unstructured the way they are here. I'm not sure what it all looks like but from what I learned today it starts with my waking up at 8 in the morning with J. The rest I have to figure out. I know things I'd like to include in my schedule. Colorful Cute time, 2r time, eating (I forget to eat most of the time and end up with one meal a day), indpendent play for Eldest, play time with Eldest, some sort of lesson for Eldest, play time with Daughter, and fun time for me. During the week I'd like to get the kids out of the house at least once and I mean packed into the car and travel somewhere not open the door and sweat off 15 pounds in 15 minutes and then fight with mario because it's too damn hot to be outside for much longer even though HE doesn't get that.
By the way, I'm all over the place today. I apologize in advance. Or is it more like halfway?

Thanks to mmmbento I have begun to consider incorporating bento techniques over here because I am just sick and tired of Eldest's god awful eating habits. I'm hoping that cute food will help get things in his tummy like veggies. The thing is it's freaking dizzying I think. Way too much information all at once. Trying to sort through it and make sense of it all. I've made onigiri before thanks to Taz (I miss you!) but that's about it. Surely Mickey Mouse furikake will help right? Or flower shaped carrots? *sigh*

I am in the same half and half situation with the store. I'm having SUCH a hard time with the cram cream stuff. I placed an order all the way in the beginning of August and I was charged in full for it.  It hasn't shipped. It's not that I don't care to get new inventory in they're just not SHIPPING IT TO ME. I had scheduled for there to be the August order in and I was going to order in September and again in October. NOW I'm not getting my August order until the middle of September which totally screws the schedule. That noise is me ripping my hair out. On the other extreme is Decole. So far things have been pretty good. It was hard dealing with the catalog at first- it's in Japanese but I think I got it all together. They apparently have backorder issues as well. I was told about 40% of Decole's stuff is on backorder. Popular much? So now that I submitted the order we'll see what is available and what isn't. Backordered merchandise can take two months to get back in so I don't know how I'll handle that. I'll get there when I get there. If I get there. Then there's this other designer out there I looked into. I think he's amazing but I only have so much money to spend on inventory, you know? I did get a tiny order in of Q-Lia bento boxes. SO cute. And oh yeah they sent me a TINY order of Cram Cream. So tiny I haven't even posted about it on the LJ communities or on MySpace. I just noted it on the store's home page and I emailed the list. And well, here too. It's nuts. This is where you truly see that large amounts of money would make things TONS easier. I will say this. The very cool thing has been finding kindred spirits. And I mean kawaii lovers, self-employed people, store owners, working mothers, etc. VERY cool meeting you all and sharing different experiences like that.

There was one more thing I'd meant to share and I'm drawing a blank…

OH! Right so I'm going out of town next week. We have an event in New York at Radio City so we're turning my work into an excuse for vacation. J's taking time off work and we're ALL going. We're spending time with his family and also his sister is coming in from Boston and then we're going into Boston with her too. Should be fun. Also, it's J's birthday next Thursday so we'll be celebrating over there. And of course I am most excited about visiting KidRobot. Call me a geek– see if I care!

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