I'm suffering from some big time Mommy burnout. Mommy/Wifey burnout actually. Isn't it weird that there have been studies showing marriage makes people live longer? I'm wondering if maybe it's a cruel joke? Ok ignore me I'm just tired and bitter and frustrated. You know that place you get to when you have no less than a hundred thousand ideas in your head and you just can't have enough time to straighten them out and act on them? I'm so there right now!!

I love my store. I really do. I'm having a wonderful time running it. The thing is that I can't focus on where I want to run with it and such. I have so many ideas for it and I start working on one aspect and get sidetracked by a crying baby and the next thing you know I'm on another tangent and ugh! Right now I'm really trying to figure out my niche and if there's a market for it and how do I go about doing what I need to do to get where I want to get and where do I want to get exactly?  I want a really even mix of young kawaii and older kawaii. Does this make sense? Yes I want to keep it up with the awesome cram cream and childlike designs they offer as do Q-Lia and Crux and San-X but I also really like the sophistication Decole and other zakka designers have to offer. I don't want to be just sugary kiddy cuteness. And really I do want to carry indie artists too that aren't necessarily Asian but have something to them that rings true to my customers. I've mentioned kid_pirate before and plastic_bat but also the things Marilyn makes are PERFECTLY in line with the aesthetic I want to carry. But what comes first? What's next? HOW? And by the way, this whole dealing with Japan thing has been really hard so far. Not having much luck with what I want to accomplish. Not at all.

Right now is a perfect example of my frustration. I'm TRYING to think and to make sense of things and figure out how to get to my destination and Daughter is on my lap soaking my pajama pants with drool and crying. This is now that J came down and plunked her in the office and went back upstairs to go back to sleep. *sigh* On top of all of this my left shoulder has been in pain all day. I just want to disappear for a week. I need a fortress of solitude.

Ok if I go to bed and "sleep" through the night that means the day will be over sooner right?


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